My 10 Year Entrepreneurship Anniversary is coming up. So I'm starting a little series called "Things I Learned the Hard Way".
Today's blog is all about MINDSET. I like to harp on this one a lot...
Your business is a direct reflection of your mindset.
Full stop. Mic drop.
It's game over or game on.
It's also something I learned the hard way. A few years into my entrepreneurial journey I had burnt myself out. I had no boundaries. I worked ALL the hours.
And I wasn't taking time for myself.
I don't mean showering or eating, although there were weeks when I even struggled with that. I mean time to breathe. Time to be "off". Time to process what was coming up. Time to let down my guard and put down the "Successful Mompreneur" and "Bosslady" masks.
If you asked what I do for fun, I'd say "work?".
And when I did crash on the couch and stop working, I'd still be connected to my phone. Still checking. Still responding. Still kinda "on". All while numbing - binge-watching Suits, or Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, or 6 NFL games from the previous 2 weeks so I'd be caught up. And while at the same time playing some dumb game on my phone and snacking and DOING WHATEVER I COULD TO NOT BE PRESENT.
Because being present meant that I would be with myself. That there would be no distractions from the mom guilt, the wife guilt, and the general sense of resentment of myself for creating such a hectic life.
This wasn't what I wanted was it? It wasn't fulfilling, that's for sure. I mean it had its moments, but I couldn't enjoy them with the level of anxiety and overwhelm I was feeling.
Something had to change or I was going to spiral and blow up my life. I was going to be the kind of parent I didn't want my kids to have. I was going to end up with an empty marriage.
Instead of game over, it was game on time.
You know that analogy, you can't pour from an empty cup? It's cliche, but its true. I had to figure out how to stop draining the cup so fast and how to fill it up.
So I started with boundaries. Working less. Being less available. Setting reminders on my phone to put it away for the day. I moved into a real office so that home was home and work was work (that one was gold). I started taking 5-10 minutes in the morning to breathe and read my bible and tune into myself. I found some humans who built me up and called me on my boundaries to support me and love me. I started to work out again. I worked on journaling when I needed to move some big emotion or wasn't sure what was bothering me. I leaned into self-awareness and studied how I was wired (hello Enneagram!).
Here's the thing about becoming ourselves and finding fulfillment, it's never just one thing. It's a combination of things over time. It's a consistency of showing up for ourselves. And it's a consistency of creating boundaries in our life that serve us.
It's also, and this is really important, not black and white. It's not an "arrival". It's a continual choosing. It's something that will slide and need to be re-energized.
It's also not just about your business. You are integrated. You are one person. This is why so often when I'm coaching entrepreneurs we end up in a personal "box". How we are personally is how we are in business. It's all connected.
If you're struggling, ask what little steps you can take today to set some boundaries or take some time to be with yourself. It's worth it. I promise.