Oh crap. Its me. Coach Juli, hello, this post is a mainline into how I think.
My assistant Sophie is sitting here and says "but the whole world needs your help... and it still won't be enough..." We giggle but, kinda true.
Helpers like to take on the pain of the world as our personal responsibility to fix. We see what you need before you need it. Our hearts ache for your pain. We are EPIC nurturers, but that can show up as smothering.
I don't love writing this one... because it acknowledges that I have needs, and if I acknowledge I have needs, I could be rejected or seen as less than. From there I could spiral into thinking I'm fundamentally unloveable, and while I consciously know this isn't true, when I'm stressed out that's just where my head goes.
This is the mark of a 2; an empathetic feeler with poor boundaries, completely driven by relationships.
So what shows up for 2's in Pandemic?
Helpers have a tendency to give too much, and absorb the feelings of the world around us (and what we see on instagram). We also resent the people in our life for not knowing what we need without us telling them (expectation is just resentment waiting to happen).
So what to do?
3 Tips to Thrive
For 2's to come back to health they need a few things
Solitude. Yay a new "s" word for self care! Feeler's path to mental/spiritual health is through solitude. We so SUCK at taking time for ourselves, and yet when we allow ourselves to BE we start to realize that in order to show up for others we must show up for us first. I'm gonna say that again. IN ORDER FOR US TO SHOW UP FOR OTHERS WE MUST SHOW UP FOR US FIRST. (to myself, from myself)
Gratitude. Helpers are at our best when we create space in life to see what's actually beautiful and amazing in our life. And then to own that we were part of curating that. T
Tell other people what you need! Now is the time to start asking for what you need. Not hinting. Not hoping. Not hedging. ASK. "Honey, I really need 10 minutes to go stretch without the kids interrupting me." "Sophie, I really need to lean on you more this week with work because I over-scheduled myself again." (Recovering boundary-less person here).
What do you think, do you have a 2 in your life, or are you one? Does this sound familiar?